I think this a really good first draft, very simplified. I like that you will be drawing your own diagram, very creative. However I do feel that you need to break you the text with a few images to make it look colourful and appealing. I also found the paragraphs to be a little bit long and wordy, but the use of conversational tone made it very engaging. Overall, good job, just needs a few minor tweaks. 🙂
Hi Alana,
Firstly I love your picture on the first page!
For me it is easy to understand, but you might even like to explain what a receptor is?
I think it is alot of writing and maybe to engage non-science readers, have some interesting facts somewhere or add more colour to your blog. Maybe for your insulin eg you can put a box around for example! or you could add a photo and then on the first page say a fact so people with diabetes would be enticed to read the article!
Nice work – keep it up 🙂
Hey Alana, I thought your blog was quite good, good use of analogy to explain the situation, and a great preface to explain to the readers what they need to know before jumping in. Only thing I can critique is maybe the formatting, making it look less like a document (lots of people like the half page layout, maybe try that and see how it looks?). But other than that, well done!
Hi Alana,
I really enjoyed reading your blog. Your text was well set out and easy to understand. I do however agree with the previous comments concerning the appearance of your blog. Perhaps add another picture or diagram. Overall, I really thought you have done a great job!
Hi Alana,
I thought that the language you used in the blog was fantastic, particularly for such a heavy science topic! If still looking for title ideas, perhaps something linking to your idea that KLRs are “smart proteins”? I liked the heading of your blog but I also i think you could improve the layout of the remaining text.
Some really great and original ideas in there. Clearly written and fun to read. I agree with Briana that a little bit more work on the appearance would be good. A minor point is that receptors are made to receive messages from natural chemicals and drugs just mimic these in some ways. Please make the final submission a pdf so that the format is maintained. Great work.
Hi Alana! I thought your blog was very well written and easy to understand. You also explained the concepts well, using catch-phrases and conversational language. My only suggestion is that you might want to add some more colour or images to your blog, as it will help to catch readers eyes. But apart from that the text is very good!
I think this a really good first draft, very simplified. I like that you will be drawing your own diagram, very creative. However I do feel that you need to break you the text with a few images to make it look colourful and appealing. I also found the paragraphs to be a little bit long and wordy, but the use of conversational tone made it very engaging. Overall, good job, just needs a few minor tweaks. 🙂
Hi Alana,
Firstly I love your picture on the first page!
For me it is easy to understand, but you might even like to explain what a receptor is?
I think it is alot of writing and maybe to engage non-science readers, have some interesting facts somewhere or add more colour to your blog. Maybe for your insulin eg you can put a box around for example! or you could add a photo and then on the first page say a fact so people with diabetes would be enticed to read the article!
Nice work – keep it up 🙂
Hey Alana, I thought your blog was quite good, good use of analogy to explain the situation, and a great preface to explain to the readers what they need to know before jumping in. Only thing I can critique is maybe the formatting, making it look less like a document (lots of people like the half page layout, maybe try that and see how it looks?). But other than that, well done!
Hi Alana,
I really enjoyed reading your blog. Your text was well set out and easy to understand. I do however agree with the previous comments concerning the appearance of your blog. Perhaps add another picture or diagram. Overall, I really thought you have done a great job!
Hi Alana,
I thought that the language you used in the blog was fantastic, particularly for such a heavy science topic! If still looking for title ideas, perhaps something linking to your idea that KLRs are “smart proteins”? I liked the heading of your blog but I also i think you could improve the layout of the remaining text.
Some really great and original ideas in there. Clearly written and fun to read. I agree with Briana that a little bit more work on the appearance would be good. A minor point is that receptors are made to receive messages from natural chemicals and drugs just mimic these in some ways. Please make the final submission a pdf so that the format is maintained. Great work.
Hi Alana! I thought your blog was very well written and easy to understand. You also explained the concepts well, using catch-phrases and conversational language. My only suggestion is that you might want to add some more colour or images to your blog, as it will help to catch readers eyes. But apart from that the text is very good!