Hi Mariam,
Overall, the topic was well explained and kept at a simple level, however, at first glance the blog seems very cluttered with words, I would simplify and make it easier to read. Your margins are also very tiny. Also, there are many grammatical/ spelling mistakes – I would fix these too.
Not really my area Mariam but I enjoyed reading it. A bit ironic that half the world population are obese and half are starving – maybe we should just share! I liked the chemical stuff you talked about and I think you should keep it in but maybe dumb it down a little bit more. Looks good as well but text is quite dense.
Ken
Your language is perfect for the target audience, it’s really engaging especially at the start. I also love your pictures. I would say that ‘The Cholinesterase System’ paragraph is quite scientific (especially 3rd paragraph) and could probably benefit from being simplified (e.g. taking out the bit about aged enzymes), or having more explanation of key terms. Same with the chemical diagrams. This would ensure a non-scientific reader could follow the concepts better. Great Job!
Hi Mariam,
Overall, the topic was well explained and kept at a simple level, however, at first glance the blog seems very cluttered with words, I would simplify and make it easier to read. Your margins are also very tiny. Also, there are many grammatical/ spelling mistakes – I would fix these too.
Not really my area Mariam but I enjoyed reading it. A bit ironic that half the world population are obese and half are starving – maybe we should just share! I liked the chemical stuff you talked about and I think you should keep it in but maybe dumb it down a little bit more. Looks good as well but text is quite dense.
Ken
Your language is perfect for the target audience, it’s really engaging especially at the start. I also love your pictures. I would say that ‘The Cholinesterase System’ paragraph is quite scientific (especially 3rd paragraph) and could probably benefit from being simplified (e.g. taking out the bit about aged enzymes), or having more explanation of key terms. Same with the chemical diagrams. This would ensure a non-scientific reader could follow the concepts better. Great Job!