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Hi Sameh,
Your blog is very neat and tidy however does look a lot more like a page out of a textbook. Concepts need to be broken down so they are easily consumable for a general audience. The intro needs to invite people in as the repeated questions may act as an inadvertent barrier to people who you are targetting your blog at.
Need to make sure you make use of the second page to fully expand on concepts. The absence of references needs to be addressed but shouldn’t be a problem as content expands.
Hi Sameh,
I really like the first paragraph where, you are asking the reader rhetorical questions, it makes them curious and want to read more. so, good job on that. diagram of first and second order kinetics looks good.
– you can improve the structure and layout of the blog by breaking the information under appropriate subheading.
– try to keep your sentences short.
– The writing style for the blog needs to be casual and conversational.
– add appropriate images and diagrams to make your blog creative and visually appealing. So far, i really like the idea of the website blog.
– and lastly, don’t forget to add references in an alphabetical order.
Great effort so far.
Good luck for the final blog!!
Hey Sameh,
I agree with Krishneel that it does read like a textbook with lots of scientific jargon that a public audience won’t understand – maybe try switching to a more conversational style of writing.
Your figures are also designed for people with an understanding of pharmacology and you don’t really explain these in a way the public can understand.
Your layout is engaging and interesting but a little too crowded. I think some white space between your main points could help with that. Best of luck!
Hi Sameh,
Good start to a draft. Asking a range of pretty straight-forward questions to your reader isn’t really engaging. Try to come up with an engaging introduction, if you need some inspiration, have a read of what some of your peers have written to introduce their topic. Your blog is full of pharmacological jargon with no context given to the reader, it reads like something straight out of a medical textbook and doesn’t really set the tone of a blog. Reword the blog so it is more engaging, try using metaphors to explain the differences between first order and zero order kinetics and ensure that the figures you do decide to use aid you in your explanation instead of confusing the reader even more. Also, don’t forget to follow the marking rubric provided, you are missing references too.
Glad to see you have started your draft Sameh as it is the first step in obtaining great marks!
If you are looking for a game for yourself in Australia, amunrathen here it is, I still have in my head those wonderful slot machines that I saw on this site, they are really unique and I have not seen games like this for a very long time, if at all, there were better ones, so I thank this site for me and I play only here!
Enjoy your free time playing amazing games. I play switch games using emulators. You can download switch roms from SwitchRomz.
Hi Sameh,
Your blog is very neat and tidy however does look a lot more like a page out of a textbook. Concepts need to be broken down so they are easily consumable for a general audience. The intro needs to invite people in as the repeated questions may act as an inadvertent barrier to people who you are targetting your blog at.
Need to make sure you make use of the second page to fully expand on concepts. The absence of references needs to be addressed but shouldn’t be a problem as content expands.
Hi Sameh,
I really like the first paragraph where, you are asking the reader rhetorical questions, it makes them curious and want to read more. so, good job on that. diagram of first and second order kinetics looks good.
– you can improve the structure and layout of the blog by breaking the information under appropriate subheading.
– try to keep your sentences short.
– The writing style for the blog needs to be casual and conversational.
– add appropriate images and diagrams to make your blog creative and visually appealing. So far, i really like the idea of the website blog.
– and lastly, don’t forget to add references in an alphabetical order.
Great effort so far.
Good luck for the final blog!!
Hey Sameh,
I agree with Krishneel that it does read like a textbook with lots of scientific jargon that a public audience won’t understand – maybe try switching to a more conversational style of writing.
Your figures are also designed for people with an understanding of pharmacology and you don’t really explain these in a way the public can understand.
Your layout is engaging and interesting but a little too crowded. I think some white space between your main points could help with that. Best of luck!
Hi Sameh,
Good start to a draft. Asking a range of pretty straight-forward questions to your reader isn’t really engaging. Try to come up with an engaging introduction, if you need some inspiration, have a read of what some of your peers have written to introduce their topic. Your blog is full of pharmacological jargon with no context given to the reader, it reads like something straight out of a medical textbook and doesn’t really set the tone of a blog. Reword the blog so it is more engaging, try using metaphors to explain the differences between first order and zero order kinetics and ensure that the figures you do decide to use aid you in your explanation instead of confusing the reader even more. Also, don’t forget to follow the marking rubric provided, you are missing references too.
Glad to see you have started your draft Sameh as it is the first step in obtaining great marks!